Boyfriend has a kink (feederism) that I’m struggling with

Hi all,

I’ve (30F) been dating my wonderful partner (28M) for about a year and I love him so much. We have an incredible relationship and for the most part everything is great.

About three months in, he told me he likes larger women, and specifically the idea of watching a woman grow and get larger. Initially, this made me a bit insecure because I am fairly petite/average sized (about 5’4 and 125lbs). I looked at his Instagram following and noticed a lot of feeder/feedee content which led me down a rabbit hole of learning about the kink.

At first I was really opposed to gaining any weight. I have a history of disordered eating and try very hard to remain body neutral, eat intuitively, etc. I shared this with him and said I didn’t want to engage in the kink (I was open to explore it other ways besides gaining weight such as wearing tight clothes, etc). No shame/judgement at all but it’s not for me.

However, he would always praise me when I ate seconds or dessert and the praise felt good. I started eating more to please him. Every day when he comes home from work he asks what I’ve eaten and tells me either good job or I need to eat some more. I’ve probably gained about 20lbs as a result and I feel horrible. My sex drive has completely plummeted. Our sex revolves around him grabbing my stomach and thighs and telling me how “good” I’ve been. It makes me want to cry because I know he is turned on by my weight gain, which I was trying to avoid. I have spiraled and started obsessing about food again and meal times are causing me anxiety. My clothes aren’t fitting and my mom has commented on my weight gain.

I told him some of this and we’ve tried to have sex without engaging in his kink and he has a hard time staying aroused. I know he views a lot of feeder/feedee porn. He told me he wouldn’t be as attracted to me if I lost weight. I feel so sad because his needs and my needs are at odds. Why did he pick me if he wanted to be with a larger woman? Would love to hear any advice- we are both in therapy but I don’t know how much he shares.

TLDR- my boyfriend has a feederism kink that I’m not into. Are we doomed to be sexually incompatible?

Submitted September 07, 2023 at 11:36PM by idkthrowaway9722 https://ift.tt/xkAFXbd