I feel disgusting after yesterday night…

For a little context, I’m a male that recently turned 18 years old and this lady was on the mature side (I would say about 40-50) Yesterday night I went for some drinks after work and got fucked up. So I go on my bike ride home and suddenly feel this insane horniness taking over my head.

I talked to a random lady and in my drunken state I began to talk her up in a way I cannot see myself ever doing, prior to this I had only had sex once with this friend of mine and it lasted 3 minutes before it became akward and we decided to quit. So after talking her up a little she told me she wasn’t interested and entered her house. My stupid ass knocked on her door and she invited me in and we got to touching, kissing etc. I wouldnt call her dirty but her house wasnt the ideal home and she began to sit on my lap and shit.

Push comes to shove and next thing we are having sex, no need for details but it was good I guess. I went home and as soon as I plopped on the couch I felt this shame and regret I have never felt before and I wish I had never ever done this. I dont even know her and I am not going on my ego here but I feel that I am relatively innocent and would not do this with a clear mind. Please please you guys how do I forgot this or forgive myself for it. It totally went against my principals and my lifestyle and I cannot think about this without shame and the fact that its out of line and not supposed to be in my story. I cannot live with it simply even though it sounds weird. I’m just a fucking nerd man I don’t want this on my mind and I’m afraid I wont ever look at sex the same, I’m a lover not a fucking slut. I dont even know her name. I asked her if she had diseases and she said no and said she was even cleared for donating blood. She had a 16 year old daughter too. How can I live with myself after violating someones mother. Please tell me something that might help, this is slowly turning into a trauma of sorts.

Submitted September 08, 2023 at 03:44AM by Then-Economist-573 https://ift.tt/hi9NaW2